Her Thoughts

Speaking with Self Confidence – Self Talk

Do you find yourself having a nervous attack when you are going to speak? Are you jittery and does your voice quiver as you start to have a conversation about a delicate subject? Read how to build your confidence with daily application!

Let’s talk about confidence as it relates to your self-talk. What are the statements you use with yourself daily?

For example do you hear yourself say:

• "That was a crazy idea!"
• "Stop thinking like that."
• "That was a stupid thing to do!"
• "I’ll never amount to anything."
• "I can never get it right!"

That’s because as a child you may have heard these words:

• "Where did you get that idea?"
• "Who told you that! You can’t do that!"
• "Why can’t you be more like your bother, sister, friend, cousin…?"

Early on you are programmed with certain phrases as you learn to speak and interact with others. What you hear you begin to believe, whether or not it is true.

The truth is, you are who you are. And when you speak, those old phrases pop in when you are nervous, or concerned about what someone else might think of what you are saying… Granted, not everyone has had such a background; however, no matter where you are in the journey of your life, you may doubt yourself in certain situations!

Remember, what you say to yourself has greater impact on you than what anyone else tells you. YES! What you say to yourself has greater impact on you than what anyone else tells you! After all, you hear your own voice daily!

Here are two tips to build your speaking confidence by changing your self talk!

1. Affirm yourself. Think of the characteristics you perceive you don’t have, and state them as if you already have them. Tell yourself how grateful you are to be who you are and that you are capable, strong and intelligent. Tell yourself that you are articulate and able to speak your truth clearly.
2. Talk to yourself in the present tense. Say for example "I am able to speak my truth without fear" or "I speak with confidence and authority". You could also say "I am an excellent speaker and people listen to what I have to say," or "I become a better speaker every day."

You may think "I don’t believe these statements" – add the word "yet" because remember, what you tell yourself you begin to believe, whether or not it is true! Eventually you believe it and it is true!

Practice your affirming statements every day. As you repeat these positive statements to yourself, you build more confidence, you behave with confidence and you speak with confidence!